Dear Diary, 

I think a lot of us girlies can relate to Futakuchi-onna and her two mouths. I know when I get hangry things can get a little ugly, but at least I only have one mouth to talk back with. Futakuchi-onna? She has two. Twice the hunger, twice the attitude. But it's not her fault, really, because she is technically just a normal girl who has been mysteriously cursed for unknown reasons. Despite the unknown origins of this second mouth, Futakuchi-onna is just like us. 

So what exactly does this mouth do, you ask? Well, at first you would never even notice her second mouth since it is hidden on the back of her head beneath thick locks of black hair, but the mouth is enormous, splitting her skull in two when it opens wide. It bears jagged teeth and a long, agile tongue. Her OG mouth never eats, but the second mouth eats like a teenage boy. She's basically the type of girl who doesn't want anything when you order, but steals half your fries. And if that second mouth isn't satisfied, it gets hangry and starts screaming. Relatable. 

The most famous Futakuchi-onna story involves an unsuspecting woman and a very cheap man. Legend has it that a wealthy, but stingy man sought after a wife with no needs because why waste your vast wealth on your spouse? He met a woman who never ate in front of him and immediately fell in love, married her and tried to live a happy, cheap life. I think you know where this is going.

One day, the man noticed that despite his wife's low appetite, his food seemed to dwindle and dwindle each day. Curious and clearly suspicious, he “left for work,” but actually hung around to catch her in the act. He should have just gone to work, but instead he watched as his wife’s skull parted, and her long locks of hair shoveled rice into the back of her head like it was a hot dog eating contest. Oh, I forgot to mention, her hair is controlled by the mouth and the locks turn into tentacles. Just go with it.  Furious, the man confronted his wife, but she was not finished eating yet, so her hair strangled him. Yay. 

So, the moral of the story is twofold - don't be cheap, especially to your loved ones and just take a small peek at the back of your girlfriend's head. Just in case. 

Suddenly I’m feeling hungry. Until next time,

Xoxo,

Maria